Wedding Survival Guide for Catholics

Overview & Benefits

As a couple enjoys their engagement, they and their families are faced with the daunting task of planning the wedding and reception, which often takes a long time and is accompanied by significant stress. The Wedding Survival Guide for Catholics, a joint project of the Diocese of Trenton and Stress-Gone Publishing LLC, addresses the unique challenges of planning a beautiful Catholic wedding.

This book holds a nihil obstat (Rev. Scott Shaffer, Censor Librorum) and the imprimatur of the
Most Rev. David M. O’Connell, C.M., Th.M., J.C.D.
Bishop of Trenton; October 7, 2022 - Feast of Our Lady of the Rosary.

Unlike hundreds of wedding planning books, this is the only book solely focused on stress and conflict reduction for Catholics, so that planning can be fun, enjoyable and rewarding. It emphasizes communications throughout, and shows that through prayer, Jesus will help them live more harmoniously as a couple and as parents.

Couples are trying to figure out how to strike a balance between the rich Catholic wedding traditions and a truly memorable reception that highlights their unique personalities. This dual challenge is embodied in the book’s subtitle:

44 Strategies to Survive Wedding Planning and Thrive in a Catholic Marriage

Ideally the couple should start using the book immediately after becoming engaged, because that’s when the planning starts. It’s written as a guidebook, not to be read cover to cover, but to be used throughout the planning process to address specific situations as they arise. It starts with the “Vision for the Big Day” which is a most important first step to get everyone involved envisioning the same day’s purpose and events.

The religious portion of the book helps couples navigate the complexities of preparing for marriage in the Church. Couples begin to see the marriage preparation process as an important step toward adjusting to the joys and difficulties of daily married life. The book also helps couples envision all the beautiful aspects of their Catholic wedding day from their Nuptial Mass or ceremony to the full range of wedding-related activities, and of course, their reception. Other sections give couples and their parents dozens of “Stress Reducers” that are short, easily digestible tools and techniques to resolve a wide range of complicated and difficult situations that often arise during the planning process.

It's important to understand that this book is actually a “blueprint for life,” because so much of what couples learn during wedding planning is critical to the long-term success of the marriage and to family harmony. It goes hand-in-hand with the marriage prep teachings and the guidance provided by clergy and mentor couples.

The Wedding Survival Guide for Catholics is for all Catholics who are considering marriage, for those already engaged, and for the parents, grandparents, siblings or friends of the engaged couple. It's the full service wedding planning guide for Catholics and is available on Amazon for individual sale or for bulk sales to parishes and dioceses. Contact your local parish to see if a copy is waiting for you. 

• CLICK HERE for sampler/excerpts of the book

• CLICK HERE for the table of contents

• READ what people are saying about the book

• READ the Monitor article describing the Encourageing Catholic Weddings campaign

• WATCH a Live interview on Catholic Faith Network (2/21)

• WATCH a Live interview on Domestic Church Media (3/3/23)  

Benefits of the Book 

Here is a long list of benefits that the book brings to not only the couple but the parents, grandparents, siblings and close relatives, including:

• Highlights the importance of a wedding ceremony in the Catholic tradition and what that entails.

• Helps couples learn to communicate effectively within the framework of planning all aspects of the wedding.

• Shows how a secular reception can complement and co-exist with a religious ceremony.

• Encourages couples to look to prayer as a helpful way to reduce stress, both before and after the wedding day.

• It reinforces what the couple learns in their Pre-Cana program and throughout their Catholic marriage prep process.

• With short Bible passages included in specific sections, couples learn how thoughts and words from Christ and his disciples can help them today.

• A foreword and other introductory sections with advice and guidance from high-level clergy provides additional benefits as well.

• A wealth of religious and practical information in one place, designed to be used throughout the planning process as a guidebook.

• Helping couples understand and appreciate the value parents and grandparents bring to their relationship.

• Lessons learned from a specific situation during wedding planning can be used with changes for a specific situation during the couple’s life.

• The book has great pass-along value to peers/family of the couple.

• It’s written in a way that is spiritually uplifting, bringing together a greater understanding of the Sacrament of Marriage, and that living in a Catholic marriage brings a multitude of graces.

• Stresses the importance of a union for life and gives the couple tools they can use both in the good times and not-so-good times.

• It has pass down value to future generations. One young mother said that she bought a copy for her daughter’s wedding – in 25 years! This mom will be prepared and is sure the advice in the book will stand the test of time.

• Helping couples learn to communicate effectively is a theme that runs throughout the book and has obvious value during marriage.

• While wedding planning with vendors is “one and done,” the special relationship between the couple and their parish is lifelong.

• The spiritual union of a couple is important during the engagement,  early years of the marriage and grows throughout the decades.

• The ability of the couple to deal with adversity during wedding planning is an important and valuable tool for their marriage.

• The coping mechanisms couples learn from the book apply to similar situations they will face in life.

• The practical real-life examples and recommendations we write about translate easily into real life situations that couples face.

Photo credit: © Anthony Vazquez Photography

Catholic Section 

• The Happiest and Most Successful Catholic Marriages Start with Information and Community

• The Beauty of a True Catholic Wedding

  • Marriage Preparation

  • Wedding Rehearsal

  • Wedding Day

  • Nuptial Mass or Ceremony

  • Destination Weddings

  • Interfaith Weddings

  • The Three C’s for a Valid Catholic Wedding (Capacity, Consent, Canonical Form)

• Imagining Your Catholic Wedding Day

• Ideas for a Special Catholic Wedding on a Budget

• Vision for the Big Day

• The Obsession with Perfection

• In-Law Harmony

• The Importance of Clear Messages

• Getting on the Same Page, including this Biblical passage/comment:

Ephesians 4:2-3: With all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another through love. Following this passage, combined with compromise, communication and collaboration, makes for a wonderful marriage and life.

• What’s at Stake

• If We Had It to Do Over (comments from couples/parents post-wedding)

We even have a secular version of the 3 C’s – communicate, collaborate and cooperate, all necessary components of great relationships of all kinds.

Beyond Wedding Planning

The lessons learned by couples as they planned their weddings easily translate to similar practices after their wedding and throughout their lives:

• In Stress Reducer #5, “In-Law Harmony,” what couples learn will be invaluable as they deal with relatives throughout their lives.

• In Stress Reducer #8, “It’s All About Fair,” being fair to others is a life lesson for all relationships – family, friends, co-workers, acquaintances, etc.

• In Stress Reducer #9, “The Importance of Clear Messages,” that’s something that is valuable in everyday life as the need to be very clear is not just a pre-wedding necessity.

From numerous people that have read the book, many currently or recently involved in wedding planning, the comments were 100% positive, with the overwhelming feeling that they were so glad to have had this resource.

For those who planned weddings in the past, they all said, “I wish I had this book when I was planning my wedding.” One woman married in 1954 summed it up by saying, “While times have changed, the issues are the same as they were almost 70 years ago.”

That’s why we feel The Wedding Survival Guide for Catholics will be of great value for couples, their families and future generations – a treasured book that will be around decades from now. 

It will be instrumental in helping couples embrace their faith, see the value of a marriage recognized by the Catholic Church, and solidify their personal relationship with their local parish community, the community that will love and support them throughout their lives together.

What People Are Saying...

“You will discover tools and techniques that helped others achieve extraordinary marriages.”
Fr. Jim Grogan, Pastor, Our Lady of Good Counsel Parish, Moorestown, NJ

“We wish this had been available when we got married. Good advice and not preachy! Very good coverage of a complex and confusing subject. This book can change a Catholic Church wedding from ‘jumping through hoops’ to ‘finding a joy and blessing.’”
Terry and Fred Horney, Pre-Cana Team Leaders

“I’m sure couples will find it helpful, insightful and the fruit of lots of experience.”
Most Rev. David M. O’Connell, C.M., Th.M., J.C.D., Bishop of Trenton, New Jersey

“This book is an excellent resource for couples preparing for marriage and their families. So many of the issues that come up when I'm working with couples on their FOCCUS inventory are covered here. I wish I had it to hand to every couple I work with!”
Jennifer Schlameuss-Elsensohn, Catholic Author & Pastoral Associate, Co-Cathedral of St. Robert Bellarmine, Freehold, NJ

“People just don't know what they don't know. Situations that can't be worked out could lead to a lifetime of problems. But you all wrote a book that can help people avoid those pitfalls.”
Marilyn (CT) mother of two brides, one groom

"The book hits on a lot of great points that a lot of people do not think about till it's too late. It was a great and informational read. Very valuable."
Kirsten (CA) former wedding planner, planned her own wedding

“The Wedding Survival Guide for Catholics is a great how-to guide for planning a beautiful Church wedding.  From marriage preparation to the ceremony, this guide walks you through the process in easy-to-understand language while always reminding the reader of the Sacrament they are going to receive.”
Michelle, bride-to-be