Remarriage in the Church

Remarriage in the Church

The plan for all couples who enter Catholic marriage is that their marital love will grow stronger as they journey through life together, with the ultimate goal of "reaching at last the fullness of years for which they hope, [that] they may come to the life of the blessed in the Kingdom of  Heaven.” (From the Catholic Wedding Ceremony - The Order of Celebrating Matrimony)

The reality is that spouses may find themselves alone far sooner than they ever expected. When we lose our spouse through death or divorce, and are fortunate enough to find new love, we hope once again for a marriage that will last a lifetime.

Persons seeking remarriage in the Church are usually faced with more challenges than those entering first time marriages. There may be complicated financial issues, family blending and step-family issues, and in the case of divorced Catholics, they must obtain a declaration of nullity from the Church before they are free to marry again.

Annulment - A Declaration of Nullity 

An annulment is a declaration by the Catholic Church that the prior union never had the binding force that characterizes marriage. An annulment does not deny the reality of the wedding or the experience of the spouses during married life, but rather says that because something was seriously defective when the bride and groom spoke their wedding vows, the marriage lacked the binding force that Jesus taught (Mk 10:7-12; Mt 5:31-32; Lk 16:18). 

The Process of Preparing for Remarriage in the Church

For engaged couples in which one or both parties is remarrying after the death of their spouse or a declaration of nullity, the marriage preparation process is similar to those entering first marriages in many ways. The process begins with the formal announcement of the couples intention to marry in the Catholic Church, as they contact the parish to set up their first meeting with their pastor (or someone delegated by the pastor) to discuss the steps toward the Sacrament of Matrimony.

Typically couples willl set up a series of meetings at the parish to complete their pre-marital paperwork (pre-nuptial investigation), discuss their hopes and dreams about marriage, and receive sacramental instruction about the meaning and purpose of Catholic marriage. 

One of the most helpful tools for couples remarrying in the Church is to complete the FOCCUS premarital inventory, a tool that enables the couple to discuss and work through the full range of topics associated with daily married life. FOCCUS is highly recommended for every couple entering Catholic marriage, but especially for those in remarriage situations as a special section on remarriage issues is part of the FOCCUS process.

While every remarriage situation is unique, it's not unusual for issues or challenges in the couple's relationship to surface during the marriage preparation process that may be serious enough to warrent the assistance of a professional counselor. Your priest or pastoral minister may recommend the parish counseling program in such situations.

The "Better Together" Remarriage Retreat - A Marriage Preparation Retreat for Remarriage in the Church

In addition to marriage preparation sessions at the parish, couples will attend the "Better Together" Remarriage Retreat, a special day set aside to reflect together on the great privilege and power of the Sacrament of Matrimony, to build self-awareness of what each brings to the marriage, to discuss important remarriage tasks, to learn the essentials of daily prayer and forgiveness, and to fully understand the nature of Catholic marriage as a free, total, faithful and fruitful gift to each other lived out each day of the marriage journey.

Check out our marriage preparation events page to find a "Better Together" Remarriage Retreat and register online.