Marriage: Called to the Joy of Love

This year, the Church in our country and in our own Diocese celebrates “National Marriage Week” (Feb. 7-14) and “World Marriage Day” (Feb. 13) in tribute to husbands and wives as the foundation of the family, the basic unit of society. When we think of marriage, words like love, faithfulness, trust, sacrifice, forgiveness and perseverance and many other values come to mind. For us in the Church, the idea of Sacrament and covenant embraces all those expressions as we consider the loving and graced relationship of one man and one woman in a union that is faithful, fruitful and forever. No other partnership equals this blessed gift of our Creator, present from the beginning of the world.  

“World Marriage Day” began in Baton Rouge, Louisiana in 1981 and grew out of the experience of couples engaged in the “Worldwide Marriage Encounter,” a movement founded in Spain – “Encuentro Conyugal” – by the late Father Gabriel Calvo (1927-2021), who devoted his entire priestly ministry (1952-2021) to the pastoral care of married couples and families.

“There is within each couple,” he reflected, “a divine energy of love. It has to be released by a deep sharing between husband and wife, through the communication of their feelings and of the whole of their lives together. It cannot be done in just one moment."

Pope St. John Paul II imparted his apostolic blessing to “World Marriage Day” in 1993, and it has been celebrated in the world’s dioceses ever since. Its purpose is to honor husbands and wives for their mutual sacrificial love and fidelity, embodied in “their own special Sacrament.” The Church has always believed and taught that marriage is the “image” of the union of Christ with his Church. The late Pope noted that “marriage is an act of the will that signifies and involves a mutual gift which unites the spouses and binds them to their eventual souls with whom they make up a sole family, a ‘domestic Church.’” That expression continues to be widely used and applied.   

Here in our own Diocese, following the lead of the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops, “National Marriage Week” and “World Marriage Day” help us to focus on building a “culture of life and love” that begins with supporting and promoting marriage and the family.  The theme for this year’s celebrations is “Called to the Joy of Love.” The USCCB has produced a video-presentation of its “Pastoral Framework for Marriage and Family Life,” which can be viewed on its website. Our Diocese has also produced excellent resources on its website.

Every year in October, I celebrate two Masses – one for Burlington and Mercer counties at the Cathedral in Trenton and another for Monmouth and Ocean Counties at the Co-Cathedral in Freehold – which honor married couples commemorating their first, 25th and 50th or more anniversaries. These are wonderful, beautifully spiritual occasions for anniversary couples themselves and their families, as well as for their parish priests, the diocesan staff and for me as their Bishop. These are milestones of joy and faith for the entire Diocese and fitting recognitions of the couples’ lives of love.

In my homily for one of these Masses, I preached to the couples present:

You have chosen to be married in the sight of a generous God who so loved the world that he gave himself to us in the person of Jesus Christ.  And in the Spirit of this generous God, husband and wife are to give themselves to each another. A spiritual life grows as love finds its center beyond ourselves: in God. Faithful and committed relationships offer a doorway into the mystery of spiritual life through which we discover this: the more we give of self, the richer we become in soul; the more we go beyond ourselves in love, the more we become our true selves and our spiritual beauty is more fully revealed. In marriage we are seeking to bring one another into fuller life and to belong to one another not as a “possession” but as a possibility for true, deep love (“Homily for Anniversary Blessings,” St. Robert Bellarmine Co-Cathedral, Oct. 15, 2015).

This year, as the Diocese celebrates “National Marriage Week” and “World Marriage Day,” let us together thank God for the gift, vocation and witness of married life and all its many blessings, joys and even challenges within our beloved Diocese. May married couples continue to mirror the love of Christ for his Church, always remembering his command to all of us, whatever our vocation may be: “Love one another as I have loved you (John 13:34).”