Newly Married Resource Page

Congratulations on completing your Pre-Cana!

Think of this web page as your tool kit to help build your own extraordinary marriage. Here you will find information and resources to assist you in every aspect of daily married life. Your Catholic faith community will always be there to encourage and support you. 

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Finances/Money

Communicating about money is key to a healthy marriage and solid financial future.  Couples who communicate regularly about finances and have mutually agreed-upon goals can withstand major financial challenges.

Top Ten Financial Tips for Engaged and Newly Married Couples: 

When you become parents there are a few more important financial tips to keep in mind. You’ll want to start a college fund for each child when they are born. When they are old enough to help with chores, consider an allowance with rules – they must save part of it in their bank account, give some to charity, and save the rest for items they want to purchase. This teaches them about saving, charitable giving, and spending their money wisely.

Articles: 

• Finances: Yours, Mine, Ours

• Why Enough is Never Enough: Overcoming Worries about Money – A Catholic Perspective

Books: 

• 7 Steps to Becoming Financially Free: A Catholic Guide to Managing Your Money, by Phil Lenahan

•  Faith Finances - A Guide to Mastering the Three Biblical Principles of Financial Success in Eight Steps, by Thomas Zordani

• The Total Money Makeover, by Dave Ramsey

Web Resources: 

• Finances - a variety of financial resources from the Catholic perspective (from foryourmarriage.org)

• Finances After Marriage - a host of financial resources from moneygeek 

• Compass Catholic Ministries - dedicated to helping you discover smarter ways to manage your money

• WalletWin - Get Your Money Working for You Right Now. Jonathan and Amanda Teixeira help Catholics like you eliminate debt, build savings, and change the world through generosity.

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In-Laws

Your marriage takes priority over all other human relationships. Even the most well-meaning parents can overstep the bounds of healthy family dynamics. Determining together the parameters of in-law involvement in your marriage and child-rearing is crucial.

Couples in healthy marriages avoid the two extremes of in-law involvement – regularly siding with parents over their spouse - or - allowing their spouse to disrespect their parents. Even when spouses are regularly at odds with their in-laws, they need to remember that those in-laws gave birth to and raised their beloved, and that the relationship between parent and child will always be sacred.

On the other hand, and most importantly, each person must know that their partner always has their back and will always make the marriage a priority. With maturity, kindness, self-awareness and perhaps a little tough love from time to time, the in-law/couple relationship can be a lasting source of mutual support. Parents won’t live forever - whatever couples can do to nurture all in-law relationships will strengthen the marriage for the long-haul.

Articles/Resources:

• On 10 Tips for Dealing with your Mother-in-law, from the Catholic Mom's Group

• The Relationship with your In-Laws, from Catholic.net

• Becoming a Mother Changes your Relationship with your In-Laws, from CatholicAllYear.com

• In-Law Relationships - A series of articles from Focus on the Family 

• Focus on the Ten Tips for Dealing with In-Laws, from FamilyEducation

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Interfaith Marriage

Interfaith marriages are more common than ever and present their own unique challenges, especially in raising children. Respecting each other’s faith traditions and finding commonalities in core belief systems can lead to a richer faith experience for all.

Articles/Resources:

• Communication Tips for Interfaith Couples, from the Gottman Institute (A research-based approach to human relationships)

• A Catholic Priest's Perspective on Interfaith Marriage

• What Is the Key to a Successful Marriage?

• "Til Faith Do Us Part: How Interfaith Marriage is Transforming America", a book by Naomi Schaefer Riley

• Ecumenical and Interfaith Marriages – A variety of articles and resources from foryourmarriage.org

• Interfaith Marriage Web Page from the Diocese of Trenton

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Intimacy

 

A great sex life means sex is a priority in your marriage. It’s not something else we need to do on our list, or something we will do if everything on the list is done first. One of the great gifts of marriage given by God is the gift of sexual intimacy. That gift, shared with the one other person within your marriage, is a beautiful thing.

Sexuality in marriage is not just physical; true sexual intimacy involves the mind, body, and spirit; it is a total giving of oneself to the other. This is how couples become true soulmates.

In his beautiful teachings on marital sexuality, St. John Paul II described the sexual embrace as sacred body language – a means of communicating our unconditional love to each other. Marital intercourse is designed to say:

In this way, the message of sex is profoundly holy. It’s so much more than just positions or physical sensations but about what I want to say to you with all my heart - “I give myself to you freely, totally, faithfully and fruitfully.”

It is the same message Jesus speaks to us on the cross and in the Eucharist – “This is my body, given up for you.” His love is total, permanent, unconditional and life-giving, and marital love is meant to be a reflection of Christ’s love for us.

Resources:

• Holy Sex! A Catholic Guide to Toe-Curling, Mind-blowing, Infallible Loving, by Dr. Greg Popcak

 

• Sheet Music: Uncovering the Secrets of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage, by Dr. Kevin Leman

 

• Better Sex - Secrets to an energized, engaged and fulfilling sex-life in marriage, a web resource from Engaged Marriage

 

• Sexuality and Marital Love - a host of resources from the Catholic perspective from foryourmarriage.org

 

• Love and Sexuality - more on marital love from the Catholic perspective

Family Planning/Infertility

For wellness and marital satisfaction, understanding hormonal changes that control the woman’s fertile cycle is vital. By tracking these changes through the science and practice of Natural Family Planning (also known as Fertility Awareness), couples can take control of their reproductive health and make informed decisions that are best for their marriage and family life.  

According to a recent study published by the U.S. National Library of Medicine, for a large majority of couples who practice Natural Family Planning (NFP), they reported more open communication about their sexual relationship, an improved sex life, and improved knowledge and understanding of their sexuality. Although NFP does require periodic abstinence if postponing pregnancy, this study indicates that three-quarters of men and women are satisfied or very satisfied with their frequency of sexual intercourse. 

Among the many benefits of practicing NFP are:  increased intimacy, both spiritual and emotional, an increased sense of wonder and awe about each other, deeper trust and respect for each other, and an awareness of and openness to the presence of God in the relationship. Taking a class in NFP is one of the greatest gifts you can give to each other and to the brand new family you create on your wedding day.

• Learn about Natural Family Planning  

• Take a class in Natural Family Planning (Fertility Awareness-Based Methods of Family Planning)

• Learn Strategies for Dealing with Infertility (affects one out of 8 couples)

Web Resources:

• Natural Womanhood: the most far-reaching women’s health literacy program since the introduction of the hormonal birth control pill to help:

  • Discover safe, side effect-free natural birth control options

  • Work with your body instead of against it 

  • Get help avoiding harmful birth control side effects

• Pearl and Thistle - Where women get the health info they deserve (and should have been given as preteens, where men get to be involved in the process of shared fertility, and where couples are given the tools and resources to discern God's will for their family.

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Parenting is the hardest job you will ever have – and the most rewarding. Preparing your children for the road involves teaching respect for others, self-reliance, and personal responsibility. It’s never too early to introduce your children to the greatest role model of all – Jesus.

For first-time parents, the adjustments you’ll need to make will change your lives dramatically. Each person’s and each couples’ ability to adjust to new parenthood is unique so new parents, especially new moms, should resist the temptation to compare their experience to their friends, their siblings or even their own moms.

With patience in yourself and each other, and lots of reliance on God, you’ll get there eventually like all good parents. But never be afraid to ask for help from family and close friends when you need it, and if the post-partum blues become overwhelming for the new mom, get the medical help you need.  

Children are the crowing glory of creation and one of tthe greatest sources of joy in marriage – God’s way of showing that the world is good and all life is a gift!

Articles: 

• Surviving the First Year of Parenthood, from Catholic.net 

• Tips for Growing your Children in the Catholic Faith, from the Kennedy Adventures - Offering Practical Solutions for Catholic Parents

• 20 Life-changing Parenting Tips from a Catholic Comedian, from America Magazine

Books:
 

• Parenting Your Kids with Grace, by Dr. Greg and Lisa Popcak

• Parenting Your Tweens with Grace, by Dr. Greg and Lisa Popcak

• Beyond the Birds and the Bees: Raising Sexually Whole and Holy Kids, by Dr. Greg and Lisa Popcak

Resources:

• Parenting - A host of parenting resources from the Catholic persective from foryourmarriage.org

• Welcoming Children - a host of resources for new parents from foryourmarriage.org

Prayer and Spirituality

Prayer is one of the most powerful tools we have in marriage. Because prayer is simply a conversation with God, we can ask any time for help – to make the right decision, to respond in kindness rather than anger, or simply for a sense of peace when things are overwhelming.

A daily ritual of formal prayer is wonderful too – it centers us and enables us to access God’s grace (God’s supernatural power for good). It also gives us meaning and purpose each day and reminds us that we are part of something greater than ourselves. Sunday Mass is the most powerful form of ritual prayer- it is the source and summit of our faith and unites us as members of one Catholic family.

Articles/Resources:

• Catholic Prayer for Marriage: Couples that Pray Together Stay Together, from The Prodigal Father

• Prayers for Married Couples, from Life, Love and Blog

• 10 Pointers for Prayer, from foryourmarriage.org

• Made for Eternity, from foryourmarriage.org 

• Praying Together - Praying as newlyweds, from foryourmarriage.org

Books: 

• Praying for (and with) Your Spouse: The Way to Deeper Love, by Dr. Greg and Lisa Popcak

• Catholic Household Blessings and Prayers

• Popcak Prayers for Catholic Couples with Reflections from Pope Francis 

• The Cana Rosary - A Couple's Prayer

 

Extraordinary marriages don't just happen - they need intentionality. Fortunately your Catholic faith community is all about building strong, healthy marriages to last a lifetime so are pleased to provide you with a complete set of tools and resources that's available to all married couples, including the most highly recommended books, articles, videos, programs and web resources.

CLICK HERE for your one-stop shop of tools to improve your marriage.

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Dealing with Adversity

Even the healthiest marriages need help from time to time. When marital struggles become overwhelming it’s a sign of strength to seek help. Here are four ways to get the help you need: 1) Find a trusted Catholic married couple to help you through your difficulty – one that has faced their own challenges and is willing to be your mentors; 2) speak to a trusted priest; 3) find a faith-based marriage counselor; 4) attend a Retrouvaille Weekend.

Resources: 

• Overcoming Adversity in Marriage - A host of articles and resources for difficult situations from foryourmarriage.org

 

• The Alexander House - Offering Hope & Healing for Marriage and Relationships

 

• Catholic Counselors at Pastoral Solutions Institute - A host of resources for making relationships flourish; online counseling sessions available

 

• Diocese of Trenton Parish Counseling Program - Marriage Counseling 

 

• Retrouvaille - A Christian marriage program (Catholic in origin) that helps couples restore their marriage and rebuild a loving relationship.

 

• Reconnecting with Your Spouse - a one-stop shop packed with resources for bringing back the spark in your marriage, from the Diocese of Trenton Marriage Ministries