Marriage Preparation Checklist for Engaged Couples
At least one yearbeforeyour wedding…
Congratulations! Now that your engagement is official,youshould notify your parishandscheduleyour firstmeeting with your pastoral minister(priest, deacon or layminister), who may also serve as theofficiant for yourwedding. If possible, it’s best to book your reception venue after you’ve confirmed your wedding date at the parish.
What shouldhappenat yourfirstmeeting(s)at yourparish:
If you are newlyregistered in your parish or have been away from the areaforsome time,this is a getting-to-know-yousession. It’s also a time todiscuss your hopesand dreamsaboutmarriage.
Catholic personsshould be prepared topresent a recent certificate of Baptism with notations of all othersacraments(communion,confirmation and any priormarriages in theChurch).
Marriage preparationin the Churchrequires a pre-nuptial investigation(PNI), which is all about your maritalreadiness.When Part I of yourPNI is complete, you may officially schedule your wedding Mass or ceremony, and may register for a Pre-Cana class – www.dioceseoftrenton.org/precana
Pre-Cana options include:
*Parish Pre-Cana Conferences
*DiocesanPre-CanaConferences
*Better Together RemarriageRetreat (for all couples in which one or both parties have a priormarriage, and for civilly married couples who wish to bring their marriage into the Catholic Church)
By nine monthsbeforethewedding…
It is recommended that all couples take a pre-maritalinventory such as FOCCUS (Facilitating Open CoupleCommunication,Understandingand Study),so that all key aspects of the marital relationship are discussed, and couples enter marriage with full knowledge of their situation (www.FOCCUSinc.com).
Once your pastoralminister (PM) receivesyourFOCCUS results,you’ll want toschedule a fewsessionstodiscussyourresponses. If FOCCUS isn’t offered,you’ll have sessions with yourPM todiscuss the importantelements of Catholicmarriage as they apply to yourrelationship.
By six months before thewedding…
Attend your (Pre-Cana) marriage preparation class (it is suggested that you complete your marriage preparation program after the FOCCUS pre-marital inventory, ideally between 3 and 8 months before your wedding). Elements of the Better Together program will be used at Pre-Cana.
Take an online NaturalFamilyPlanning class for a full understanding of reproductive health.
Once you’vecompletedyour marriagepreparationinstruction and all paperwork, you’ll meetwith your pastoralminister to affirm your readinessformarriage and begin planning your wedding liturgy.
If your meetings with your PM uncoversomeserious concerns in your relationship, you may wish toschedule additionalsessions,consult with your pastor, or ask for a referral through the parish counseling program.The Church’sprimaryconcern is a fulfilling,lifelongmaritalrelationship for both of you.
By two to three months before thewedding…
Work withyourpastoral minister toplan a meaningfulceremonythatreflects the sacrednessof your marriageand the uniqueness ofyourrelationship.
If you are both Catholic, a nuptial mass isrecommended. If you’re an interfaith couple, a nuptial ceremony may be a better option. Yourparish may have a wedding planner to assist you in planning your wedding liturgy.
Catholic persons should plan to receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation prior to the wedding to fully prepare you for the gracesof sacramental marriage.
It is highly recommended that all aspectsof marriage preparation at the parish be completed by sixweeks before the wedding, allowing you to focus on personal reflection and lastminute details.
Afterthe wedding…
Once you’vesettledintodailymarriedlife, be sure toset asideSunday as a day of restand renewal,and make Mass a priority in yourlives.Thegracesand blessingsyou’ll receive as a coupleare an immeasurablesource of strengthto meet the challenges of dailymarried life.
Plan to get involved in your parish community together as a couple. Yourmarriage is a vocation and a call to lovingservice. Always remember that your marriage is a sign of Jesus’ unending love for his people. May your marriage always be blessed by his presence.