Welcome to the Journey of Accompaniment resource page for parishes. On behalf of the Department of Evangelization and Family Life and the Office of Pastoral Life and Mission for the Diocese of Trenton, we wish to thank all pastors, priests, deacons, lay ministry professionals and volunteers who participated in the Journey of Accompaniment Presentation/Discussion sessions held in the four counties of our diocese on June 6, 8, 13 and 15, 2023.
What's On this Page:
A description/overview of the catechumenal process for marriage preparation
A summary of what we learned at the Journey of Accompaniment sessions
Next steps for parishes to implement the catechumenal model of marriage prep
Articles related to the "marriage catechumenate"
With the recent publication of Catechumenal Pathways for Married Life by the Dicastery of Laity, Family and Life, the Vatican and USCCB are calling upon all dioceses to develop marriage preparation practices inspired by the catechumenate to better prepare couples for the demands of marriage and family life.
The Journey of Accompaniment sessions held in our diocese were intended to help participants identify elements of the catechumenal model of marriage preparation that are already happening in our parishes and build on these elements for a new vision that brings engaged couples into the life of the parish and involves the entire ecclesial community.
Marriage preparation should be a gradual process that begins in the home in early childhood (remote preparation), advances to proximate preparation during late adolescence and early adulthood when young men and women begin to seriously discern their adult vocation to either married life, religious life or the single life. As most will choose the vocation of marriage, the immediate stage of marriage preparation begins when a couple becomes engaged and approaches the Church for marriage.
The Journey of Accompaniment describes the moments of encounter for engaged couples with faithful members of their parish community, but most notably with married couples who model the beauty of Catholic marriage as a covenant, sacrament, vocation, and partnership of the whole of life. These moments help prepare engaged persons for an encounter with the person of Jesus, and engender a sense of belonging to their Catholic faith community (as members of the Body of Christ). Like the process for newly initiated Catholics, this journey of accompaniment does not end with the wedding day but continues into the early years of marriage. This is the final stage of the "marriage catechumenate," beyond the wedding day, when the newly married couple experiences the grace of the sacrament, a deepening of faith and increased participation in parish life.
What We Learned from the Journey of Accompaniment Sessions...
A primary goal of the sessions was to present a new model for marriage preparation in the Diocese of Trenton based on the current guidelines for marriage preparation (Pastoral Policies and Guidelines for Marriage Preparation for the Catholic Church in New Jersey), but incorporating a variety of activities that form the basis for a catechumenal model of marriage preparation (depicted in the new Marriage Preparation Process infographic).
A key aspect of our proposed marriage prep process includes the practice of mentoring of the engaged whereby each engaged couple is accompanied by an experienced and faithful Catholic married couple they admire. Similar to the role of godparents for Baptism, Confirmation sponsors and RCIA sponsors, the mentor couple's role is to witness to the beauty and grace of Catholic marriage, impart wisdom and practical guidance, and form a relationship built on mutual trust and respect that enhances the faith life of both the mentors and the mentored. Mentors serve is the living connection to the Catholic faith community.
The Challenges and Benefits of Mentoring
Participants in the Journey of Accompaniment sessions were divided into four groups with the task of identifying their top three responses to these topic areas:
Obstacles and challenges to mentoring
Benefits of mentoring for the engaged couple
Benefits of mentoring for the mentor couple
Benefits of mentoring for the parish
Top responses for obstacles to mentoring included the increased time commitment (for parish staff, the engaged couple and the mentor couple), resistence from married couples who may be asked to be mentors and resistence from busy engaged couples, training and formation for mentors, and simple logistical challenges (the engaged couples may not live in the area).
Top benefits mentioned for engaged couples included having an experienced and objective married couple as a source of practical guidance, seeing the witness of a Catholic married couple and how the sacrament is lived in daily family life, having a couple to turn to for questions or help in dealing with struggles, and having a real connection to the parish.
The benefits for mentor couples included a deepening of their own faith life, enhanced communication in their marriage, seeing their marriage as a vocation - a call to serve, and the benefits of teaching practical skills and Catholic faith concepts to others (teaching is the highest level of learning).
Top benefits for the parish included a greater awareness of the importance of Catholic marriage for all parish members, creating a pool of married couples who are willing to serve the parish, building community, and a general strengthening of marriages and families in the parish.
To read a summary of responses from all four sessions, CLICK HERE.
Next Steps for Diocese and Parishes
Create a core leadership team in each pilot parish to oversee mentoring
Core leadership team undergoes diocesan training
Diocese develops full set of tools, resources, guidelines for mentors and provides opportunties for on-going formation
Diocese provides on-going formation for leadership teams
The first step in implementing a model of marriage preparation based on the catechumenate is to identify eight to ten parishes in our diocese who are willing to pilot a preparation process that incorporates mentoring of the engaged and that connects engaged couples (and their mentors) to opportunities for sacramental formation that is spiritual, intellectual, human and missionary (see USCCB"s Called to the Joy of Love, pgs. 13-17)
The Vatican document, Catechumenal Pathways for Married Life, stresses the need for a pastoral team in every parish to oversee the catechumenal process for marriage preparation. Our discussion sessions yielded a similar thought - that whether engaged couples choose their own mentors or the parish assigns a mentor couple to the engaged couple from a team of trained mentors, a parish leadership team needs to be in place to assist the pastor to oversee and help facilitate the engaged couple-mentor couple relationship, and connect couples to opportunities for formation in the parish. The leadership team may include clergy and paid parish staff, but should include married couple volunteers who may or may not serve as mentors themselves, and the leadership team should actively recruit new members from all stages of married life.
Practical training in how to build a culture of mentoring in the parish and how to facilitate the mentor couple-engaged couple relationship will be provided by the diocese for core leadership teams. While adult faith formation activities are always happening in our parishes, especially now with the Eucharistic revival, the diocese will also provide on-going formation that is particular to marital spirituality and the theology of marriage (catechesis on marriage).
Mentors and engaged couples will receive a complete set of guidelines for the mentor couple-engaged couple relationship, and a menu of activities for the 12-month marriage preparation process and beyond. The parish will clarify goals and expectations for the mentor-engaged relationship so mentors and engaged couples understand the commitment and take ownership of the process.
Read More About the Marriage Preparation Process Based on the Catechumenate:
Diocese’s efforts in step with Pope’s new priorities for marriage preparation (Monitor)
The grace of accompaniment on the journey of Sacramental Marriage (Monitor)
Personal Accompaniment Key to Vatican's Expanded Vision for Marriage Formation (OSV)
Catechumenal Pathways for Married Life – Pastoral Guidelines for Local Churches (Libreria Editrice Vaticana, Dicastery of Laity, Family and Life)
Draft Marriage Prep Documents for Engaged Couples
Draft Documents for Mentor Couple
Journey of Accompaniment Slide Presentation
"Marriage Preparation based on the catechumenate is described as 'a catechumenal itinerary for married life,' designed to help young people understand the sacrament, prepare engaged couples to celebrate their marriage and support newlyweds in the first years of their married life...
...the actual 'marriage catechumenate' for couples should last about a year and begin with a celebration or 'rite of engagement,'...The second phase should include a few months of more immediate preparation and a pre-wedding retreat just before the wedding. The third phase of assisting newlyweds should last two or three years." (Source: Our Sunday Visitor, June 15, 2022)
Essentials of a Catechumenal Model of Marriage Preparation:
The practice of mentoring of the engaged by an experienced married couple
A celebration of the "rite of engagement," or an engagement blessing
A concern of the entire parish community; involvement of the couple in the parish
Participation in a Pre-Cana Retreat
Formation that is spiritual, intellectual, missionary and human
On-going support by mentors and the parish community