Interfaith Marriage

In the Catholic Church today, interfaith marriages account for nearly one fourth of all Catholic marriages. When persons of two different faith traditions prepare to enter marriage, they must decide how they will remain true to their own beliefs while honoring the faith practices of their future spouse. The real challenge for interfaith couples is deciding how they will raise their children. As with all married couples, matters regarding the faith of the children and household religious practices should be thoroughly discussed and decided prior to the marriage.
 
In a Catholic interfaith marriage, the Catholic spouse must promise to do all they can to raise their children in the Catholic faith. The non-Catholic spouse must be aware of this promise, but is not required to agree with it. For interfaith couples whose beliefs vary greatly, such as in Catholic-Jewish marriages or Catholic-Evangelical Christian marriages, respectful on-going dialogue about faith practices and religious traditions is essential for the success of the marriage. With support from their respective faith communities, interfaith couples can be a source of inspiration and spiritual enrichment for all who encounter them.

Preparing for Catholic Interfaith Marriage 

A Catholic who wishes to marry in the Catholic Church needs special permission to marry someone who is not a baptized Catholic. This permission is given as part of the marriage preparation process, a year-long process that begins with the couple's engagement, and takes place primarily in the parish of the Catholic party.

A Catholic who wishes to marry a non-baptized person, one who is not a Christian, can receive a dispensation that enables them to have a true, valid Catholic marriage. However their marriage will not be considered a sacrament because one of the requirements for a sacramental marriage is that both parties are baptized Christians, believers in Jesus Christ.  

Ten Tips to Strengthen Interfaith Marriage Bonds

1. Respect that your in-laws may have an issue with you being in your spouse's life at first and make an effort to allow them to get to know you and see why your spouse fell in love with you despite the difference in your religions. 

2. Listen to your spouse when they tell you what’s important to their spiritual life and practices. Lend your support to them and never discount what they believe. If something is important to your spouse, it should be important to you.

3. Share the things that are important to you about your faith with your spouse and practice your values; showing by your actions what your faith means to you.

4. Celebrate each other’s differences and sameness. Many of the world’s religions have the same core values but it’s celebrating the differences along with the commonalities that make for a strong inter-faith relationship.

5. Integrate your spouse's religious life into yours. If your spouse needs prayer and meditation time, or attends religious services or church, you can best support them by altering your schedule so that they are free to pursue these activities.

6. Learn about the other’s religion, even if you don’t believe the same, or if you have no religious affiliation at all. Your spouse's spiritual life is a part of who they are as a person. In order to truly know them, you should learn all you can about their faith.

7. Interact with your spouse's friends and family. Make friends with your in-laws. Be willing to attend family functions with your spouse, religious holiday observances or holy days as a gesture of respect to your spouse's parents and elders.

8. Encourage dialogue and discussion about interfaith issues. Talk about and plan for how you will live together in your interfaith relationship. Discuss how you’d like to raise your children - whether one or the other faith will be taught, or you'll integrate certain religious or cultural traditions from your spouse's family into your marriage. Know that for Catholic families, the expectation is that children will be raised in the Catholic faith. In a Jewish-Christian marriage, the expectation for the Jewish family is that children will be raised in the faith of the mother.

9. Practice love, inclusiveness and compassion for each other, and by doing so, demonstrate your faith in action. Sometimes this means making special plans, compromising and resolving conflicts that might arise. Communication is the key here. Showing each other that nothing is more important than the love you have for one another will allow you to resolve anything together.

10. Make the decision together to raise your child in one faith tradition while honoring the other. Don't let your children decide for themselves, or worse, don't neglect their religious upbringing - raising them in faith is the best gift you can give them. Educate yourself on your spouse's faith so that you can answer your children's questions respectfully and accurately. For Catholics in an interfaith marriage, the Catholic spouse must promise to do everything in their power to raise their children in the Catholic faith. However, if the faith of the non-Catholic spouse is much stronger and raising the children Catholic will cause harm to the marriage, interfaith couples must make the decision that's best for the children and the marriage (the non-Catholic party must be aware of the Catholic's promise but is not required to make the same promise).