ECW Program for Parishes

Welcome to the ECW Program for Parishes - the easy-to-implement parish program that helps identify couples as they become engaged and inspires them to seek all the elements of a true and beautiful Catholic marriage.

At the core of this program is the 192-page practical guidebook, The Wedding Survival Guide for Catholics – 44 Strategies to Survive Wedding Planning and Thrive in a Catholic Marriage. This book is a joint project of the Diocese of Trenton and the secular publishing group, Stress Gone Publishing LLC, and is supplemented by 14 mini guides (PDF's) and online resources for parish leaders.

The alarming statistics about marriage in the Catholic Church confirm what we already know - fewer and fewer couples are choosing to marry in the Church, and the decline continues. In the 12-year period from 2000-2012, Catholic marriages in the U. S. declined by 40%. According to the Center for Applied Research in the Apostolate, in 2020—when the U.S. Catholic population stood at 73 million—Catholic marriages numbered just 97,200. In a 2014 USCCB report, “Strategies for Promoting Marriage in the Church,” several reasons for this decline were cited that are even more pronounced today:

• Lack of knowledge about the faith

• Couples did not see the value of marrying in the Church

• A negative impression of the Church’s marriage preparation process

• Not understanding the difference between a sacramental and civil marriage

That’s why our book and the ECW program can help: with accurate, easy-to-read and understandable information that addresses these concerns. In fact, it’s perfect for couples when they contact the parish upon their engagement. It’s also ideal for parents and grandparents.

The “Encouraging Catholic Weddings” program for Diocese of Trenton parishes includes free copies of The Wedding Survival Guide for Catholics book and 14 free mini guides (PDFs), as well as a host of resources that will inspire couples to learn more about the myriad benefits of Catholic marriage.

With a nihil obstat from Rev. Scott Shaffer and Bishop O’Connell’s Imprimatur, The Wedding Survival Guide for Catholics and the "Encouraging Catholic Weddings" program have four major goals:

• Show Catholic couples the importance of embracing the beauty of Catholic marriage, and how to navigate the complexities of planning a Church wedding.

• Help couples minimize wedding/reception planning stress and conflict so they may experience family harmony and a wedding day that is both meaningful and memorable.

• Help couples practice great communication, collaboration and compromise throughout wedding planning, skills that will serve them well each day of their Catholic marriage.

• Demonstrate how the comprehensive marriage preparation process for Catholic couples (such as Pre-Cana, couples mentoring, and private preparation with a priest or deacon) can dramatically increase marital success and decrease the chance of divorce.

This initiative is made possible by the generous support of various NJ Knights of Columbus Councils and the Diocese of Trenton Annual Catholic Appeal. 

• What’s Involved & How It Works

• Parish Resources

• Couples & Family Resources 

• Promotional Materials for Parishes      

• Descriptions of Mini Guides for Parishes 

  • Program Plan

  • Overview & Benefits Guide

  • Wedding Prep Companion

  • Identifying Engaged Couples

  • Parish Secretary Guide

  • Talking Points for Working with Engaged Couples

• Descriptions of Mini Guides for Couples & Families

  • Beyond The Big Day

  • Teamwork Makes the Dream Work

  • Planning & Reading Timeline

  • Booking Venues in the Wedding Explosion Era

  • Inspirational & Fun Quotes

  • Ideas for a Beautiful Hispanic Catholic Wedding

  • Just for Parents & Grandparents

  • Parents & Grandparents Guide

• For Dioceses

  • The ECW Program for Your Parishes

• Contact Information for Parishes/Dioceses to Learn More 

• Acknowledgements

Encouraging Catholic Weddings (ECW) is a comprehensive and easy to implement program to help Parishes identify newly engaged couples and encourage them to marry in the Church. 

At the core of the program is The Wedding Survival Guide for Catholics – 44 Strategies to Survive Wedding Planning and Thrive in a Catholic Marriage book that has four major goals:

• Show Catholic couples the importance of embracing the beauty of Catholic marriage, and how to navigate the complexities of planning a Church wedding.

• Help couples minimize wedding/reception planning stress and conflict so they may experience family harmony and a wedding day that is both meaningful and memorable.

• Help couples practice great communication, collaboration and compromise throughout wedding planning, skills that will serve them well each day of their Catholic marriage.

• Demonstrate how the comprehensive marriage preparation process for Catholic couples (such as Pre-Cana, couples mentoring, and private preparation with a priest or deacon) can dramatically increase marital success and decrease the chance of divorce.

The book is an essential guide designed to be used throughout the wedding planning and preparation process, with numerous sections to be read as specific situations and decisions arise. Parishes are encouraged to give the book to couples and families at no cost to them.

ECW is a turnkey program with these activities:

• Identify newly engaged couples

• Present them with the book

• Provide couples with some or all of the companion publications

• Message them about the importance of a beautiful Church ceremony

• Stay in contact to determine the program’s effectiveness

All ECW mini guides are free for Parishes and Diocese upon the purchase of a minimum of 25 books. Parish leaders are encouraged to give each couple three copies: one for them and one for each set of parents. The 192-page books are bulk value priced starting at $11.50 per copy (includes free shipping) and as low as $9.00 per copy in larger quantities. Single copies are available on Amazon for $17.95 per copy plus shipping.

Upon receipt of your book order, we will email you the 14 mini guides (PDF files) that you can copy and/or email to all couples, parents and grandparents as often as you wish. You will also get access to the Parish and Diocese Book Announcement Library where you can easily download images and texts to use in the implementation of the ECW program.

DOWNLOAD, SHARE & PRINT PDF

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The mini guides for the Parish are:

• “Overview and Benefits” guide  – a succinct summary of the benefits of the book

• “Wedding Prep Companion” - how to use this book with your Pre-Cana and/or other wedding prep programs” – recommended reading topics

• “Identifying Engaged Couples” – strategies to identify newly engaged couples as early as possible

• “Program Plan” – simple steps for Parishes to implement the ECW program

• “Talking Points” – short statements when presenting the book and guides to the couples

• “Parish Secretary Guide” --  answers to easy (and difficult) questions about catholic marriage from brides, grooms and parents

Online promotional materials to spread the word about the book – flyers, ads, banners, etc. via online web page. (DOWNLOAD, SHARE & PRINT PDF)

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Couples & Family Resources Desciption

The mini guides for the couple and families are:

• “Beyond the Big Day” - designed to help the couple transition from engaged to wedded. Life lessons learned during wedding planning are adapted to married and family life.

• “Teamwork Makes the Dream Work” - draws parallels between teamwork in sports and business with wedding planning.

• “Planning and Reading Timeline” – chronological list of things to do corresponding to sections to read in the book

• “Booking Venues in the Wedding Explosion Era” – special report

• Downloadable and printable “Inspirational Quotes” that the couple can use, such as “Teamwork Makes the Dream Work” and some from the Catholic liturgy

• “Ideas for a Beautiful Hispanic Catholic Wedding” - Hispanic-oriented ideas.

• “Just for Parents and Grandparents” - talks about what they can do to encourage couples to marry in a church.

• “Parents and Grandparents Guide” – how parents and grandparents can help achieve the best possible wedding

The Parish can print each mini guide and hand to the couple/family with the books and/or email the PDF files as well. (DOWNLOAD, SHARE & PRINT PDF)

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Descriptions of Mini Guides for Parishes 

This mini guide outlines all the aspects of the ECW program, including:

• Announcement of the program

• Identification of participants

• Program details

• Presentation

• Feedback

The feedback portion includes a sample email to send to the couples and the questions to be asked in the online survey. The results will be tabulated and published. (DOWNLOAD, SHARE & PRINT PDF)

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Overview & Benefits Guide Mini Guide Description

In addition to an overview of the book and it’s objectives, this important mini guide details numerous benefits of the book, many that go way beyond wedding preparation. Learning skills and tools while planning their weddings enables couples to be more successful in their marriages. Some of these benefits are:

• Highlights the importance of a wedding ceremony in the Catholic tradition and what that entails.

• Helps couples learn to communicate effectively while planning all aspects of the wedding.

• Shows how a secular reception can complement and co-exist with the religious ceremony.

• Encourages couples to look to prayer as a helpful way to reduce stress, both before and after the wedding day.

• Reinforces what the couple learns in their Pre-Cana program and throughout their Catholic marriage prep process.

• With short Bible passages included in specific sections, couples can relate to the scriptures as they pertain to their upcoming nuptials

• A wealth of religious and practical information in one place, designed to be used throughout the planning process as a guidebook.

• The spiritual union of a couple is important during the engagement,  early years of the marriage and grows throughout the decades.

• The ability of the couple to deal with adversity during wedding planning is an important and valuable tool for their marriage.

The book will be instrumental in helping couples embrace their faith, see the value of a marriage recognized by the Catholic Church, and solidify their personal relationship with their local parish community that will love and support them throughout their lives together (DOWNLOAD, SHARE & PRINT PDF)

• Pre-Cana leaders
• Those who counsel engaged couples
• Lay mentors

Topic: Dreams for Your Marriage

• “The Beauty of a True Catholic Wedding” – Page 23
• “Vision for the Big Day” – Page 39
• “The Obsession With Perfection” – Page 41

This guide has 16 topics:

• Challenges

• Commitment

• Communications

• Conflict Resolution

• Dreams for Your Marriage

• Family

• Finances

• Generational Differences

• Information

• Interfaith Marriage

• Personal Traits

• Planning Then & Now

• Prayer & Faith

• Reliance on Parents & Grandparents vs. Friends & the Internet

• Sacramental Marriage

• Spirituality of Marriage

• The Wedding Day

This mini guide is written to help Parish leaders implement tactics to identify couples as soon as they are engaged. That’s very important because the sooner engaged couples are reached with the book and the program, the more likely they are to consider a Church marriage. This guide includes:

• Tactics to identify recently engaged couples. For example:

  • Post a regular notice in your church bulletin(s)
  • Use email, text, messenger,  and other methods to notify people – samples are on the same web page
  • Post an ad or notice on your website(s)
  • Hang a sign in your church

To jump start this program, we have ready-to-use materials for you at: stress-gone.net/wsk4c/library
(DOWNLOAD, SHARE & PRINT PDF)

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Parish Secretary Guide Description

Parish secretaries have a privileged position in our Church. When it comes to Catholic marriage, whether it is the bride, groom, or parent who first contacts the parish, the parish secretary is often the first person they speak with and the face of welcome and hospitality.

With the continuing trend of young adult Catholics choosing not to marry in the Church, parish secretaries have a key role in any strategy to increase the number of Catholic weddings in the parish. The purpose of the Parish Secretary guide is to assist parish secretaries in their response to inquiries about Catholic marriage by providing practical information and resources that give answers to common (and not-so-common) questions from brides, grooms or family members.
(DOWNLOAD, SHARE & PRINT PDF)

 

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Talking Points for Working with Engaged Couples - Mini Guide Description

Rather than simply hand the book and mini guides to couples and say “read this,” we know it’s important to spend a few minutes talking about what you’re giving them.

For each of the resources for couples and their families, this publication gives succinct talking points to communicate to them, such as:

Here are three copies of The Wedding Survival Guide for Catholics that is designed to be used throughout the wedding planning process.

One copy is for you and one each for your parents. We encourage you to read the “First Things First” and “The Beauty of a True Catholic Wedding” first. Refer to the 44 “Stress Reducers” and 8 “Vendor Stress Reducers” when you are talking about decisions that need to be made or if stress or conflict arises over certain issues.

The talking points will help Parishes quickly convey the importance of the book and the 8 special guides.

One of the guides is written especially for those of Hispanic ethnicity, but some of the ideas could work for non-Hispanics. (DOWNLOAD, SHARE & PRINT PDF)

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Descriptions of Mini Guides for Couples & Families
 

Beyond The Big Day Mini Guide Description

The Big Day is just that: one day.

What comes after The Big Day are thousands and thousands of days, some of them big but most of them average.

Quite possibly the most valuable skills the bride and groom can learn during wedding planning are skills that can be used during their married life together. Examples:

• Learning how to compromise with each other may be the most important skill, period. When the couple compromised on the guest list or the musical choices, they will use that same skill to compromise on naming children, where to vacation, household chores and other issues between themselves.

• Having learned how to handle difficult people prior to the wedding is a skill that can be used to handle difficult people after the wedding, such as problematical co-workers and bosses, unruly children, argumentative friends and more.

• Another skill learned during wedding preparation is collaboration, one that is needed as well throughout life, such as working on a volunteer project with others.

This guide features numerous examples of skills learned during wedding prep that will be invaluable as the couple enjoys life together. (DOWNLOAD, SHARE & PRINT PDF)

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Teamwork Makes the Dream Work Mini Guide Description

The emphasis in this mini guide is on collaboration between the couple and all those involved in the wedding planning - parents, siblings, relatives and friends, plus vendors.

Anyone who has planned a big event (wedding, gala, 5K run, etc.) will tell you that success is in the details, often hundreds of them, and that teamwork is of paramount importance.

In The Wedding Survival Guide for Catholics we include hundreds of items that need to be addressed, including:

• Signs in the hotel with the shuttle schedule

• Prayers and blessings to include in the ceremony

• How the venues accommodate special dietary needs

• Where to sit older folks so the music isn’t too loud

Some decisions can be made quickly while others take time and discussion. Due to the sheer number of decisions that need to be made, this guide helps couples, parents, siblings and friends become a real team to make The Big Day special. Whether it’s business, sports or wedding planning, teamwork really does make the dream work.(DOWNLOAD, SHARE & PRINT PDF)

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Planning & Reading Timeline Mini Guide Description

This unique mini guide combines a planning timeline with relevant readings in the book, to give couples and their collaborators everything in one place to keep things moving in an efficient and effective manner. Because wedding planning typically takes a year or more, but some are less or longer, we’ve divided the total time into three parts:

• Farthest out from The Big Day
• In the Middle
• Closest to The Big Day

Within each group, we present planning and reading objectives in this unique format:

	Book the venue for the reception. Make sure you come prepared to the venue, based on your thoughts for dates, times, food, etc. Ask the venue for a timetable of information they need to know and when based on your decisions. Suggested reading: “Booking Venues in the Wedding Explosion Era” PDF “The Venue and Catering” – page 100 “Questions for Venues and Caterers” – page 127 Leader for this task: the couple
	Book the Bridal Suite and hotel for out-of-town guests and ask the hotel for discounts when you book a block of rooms. Discuss transportation to the church and reception venue. Suggested reading: “Stress Reducer #31: Critical Vendor Communications” – page 96 “Stress Reducer #34: Accommodations & Transportation” – page 102 “Vendor Stress Reducer #5: Accommodations & Transportation” page 137 Leader for this task:________

With this guide, everyone involved will be aware of who is in charge of each specific task for a more efficient process. (DOWNLOAD, SHARE & PRINT PDF)

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Booking Venues in the Wedding Explosion Era Mini Guide Description

Due to COVID, in many areas there is a huge backlog of couples looking to book their wedding receptions, and venues are often booked solid for a year or more. As a result, couples need to be creative in their venue research, and be open to different alternatives:

• Times of the year

• Times of the day

• Types of venues

This mini guide talks about the issues surrounding this phenomenon and presents the couple with ideas for alternatives to traditional recetion venues that are not available, such as:

• A historic landmark, like a castle

• At a botanical garden, conservatory, etc.

• At a zoo, wildlife preserve or aquarium

• In a museum, planetarium, etc.

• A rooftop terrace high above the city

• At a sports facility

• On the field at a sports stadium or arena in the off-season

• In a restored train station

The mini guide takes into account that the Nuptial Mass or ceremony for Catholic weddings is of prime importance but does not preclude creative ideas for reception venues. (DOWNLOAD, SHARE & PRINT PDF)

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Inspirational & Fun Quotes Mini Guide Description

This mini guide contains numerous inspirational and fun quotes to put things into a different light and add some levity to the planning journey. They can be printed, cut and affixed to many surfaces, slipped into books and even handed to your loved one as a reminder. Examples: