Family: Cherishing one of God’s first gifts

A screengrab from Pope Francis' video message, released March 4, 2025, highlights his prayer intention for March: "For families in crisis." (CNS screengrab/Pope's Worldwide Prayer Network) (Pope's Worldwide Prayer Network) Family: Cherishing one of God’s first gifts
Family.  I grew up watching shows like Father Knows Best, Leave it to Beaver, Ozzie and Harriet, and the Donna Reed Show. The television families portrayed regularly at that time had a couple of mischievous yet perennially happy kids, two loving parents who always had the right answers and situations that were as simple as they were comical and sweet.  It was a great image of American family life in the late ’50s and ’60s.

Although my family did not look anything like these television families, we continued to tune in week after week to follow their antics and adventures.  Looking back, I think we subconsciously related to the “ideals” of happiness, stability, love and support that these shows tried to present – qualities that were very present in our own family adventures despite the differences in appearance from the old TV shows.  I mean, my mother never cleaned our house or cooked our meals in a dress; my father never came to the table in a long-sleeve white shirt and tie; my brothers and I never had cookies and milk after roughhousing with the neighborhood kids.

When I occasionally watch these shows in syndication today, some 60 years later, they seem unreal and “hokey”.  I ask myself, “Was family life ever really like that?”  Do we have anything in our contemporary society to connect us with the portrayal of family life from two or three generations ago?

Long before the politically charged expression “family values” was invented, families lived those values.  Mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers – even extended family members – placed value on being together, loving one another, passing on traditions, and helping one another succeed in life.  Although the way families “look” today might not match the appearances of two or three generations ago, family is still valued – or should be – as the cornerstone of our American society and our Church.

St. Paul wrote to the Corinthians about virtues and values, “and the greatest of these is love (1 Cor. 13:13).”  It is so sad to witness families in which the absence of love was or is felt, for whatever reason.  Past hurts, harsh words, carelessness, jealousy, selfishness or greed destroy family life and family love.  Family members hold on to these things, at times, as though they were treasures of gold.  But they are not.  They are the opposite of anything of worth or value. 
In a recently-released video message, Pope Francis said that the best medicine to heal the pain of a wounded family is forgiveness. Presenting his prayer intention for March, the Holy Father said, “Forgiveness always renews the family, making it look forward with hope.”
“We all dream about a beautiful, perfect family. But there’s no such thing as a perfect family. Every family has its own problems, as well as its tremendous joys… Every member of the family is important because each member is different than the others, each person is unique. But these differences can also cause conflict and painful wounds,” he said.

The Holy Father continued, “Forgiveness means giving another chance. God does this with us all the time. God’s patience is infinite. He forgives us, lifts us up, gives us a new start.” Even if there is no possibility of there being a fairytale ending of “happily ever after,” he said, “God’s grace gives us the strength to forgive, and it brings peace, because it frees us from sadness, and, above all, from resentment.”
We know from our own families, sometimes, we just have to swallow hard and let go.  Forgive no matter what the offense or deficiency.  Begin a new chapter before it is too late, before the book closes altogether.  You only get one family and you do not get to choose who the members are.  Life is far too short to let old family wounds fester even one more day. 
You do not have to be Ozzie or Harriet or “the Beaver” to recognize and realize that your happiness in life depends upon you.   My mom used to say, “Only you can make you happy.”  Time and again, I realize how right she was!

Your family may not be “television perfect” 1960s style, but it is your family, One of God’s first gifts to you.  “Family is not an important thing … it is everything.”  Love them as much as you can!

Includes reporting from Catholic News Service.