Another Mother’s Day

Once a year, the second Sunday in May, we have celebrated “Mother’s Day” in the United States for over 100 years.  It is a special holiday set aside to honor the woman who, with our fathers and God’s grace, gave us life, who raised us, who showered us with unconditional love every day of our lives. 

For those of us fortunate enough to still have our mothers with us, Mother’s Day offers us a unique opportunity to say “thanks, Mom.”  We do so with flowers, cards, gifts, brunches, phone calls and visits.  Traffic in and out of cities is usually heavy as a result.  It is one of the busiest days for the telephone company.

Of all our holidays, Mother’s Day represents the fourth most expensive celebration.  And rightly so.  It is hard to imagine life without our loving mothers close by, physically, emotionally, spiritually.  And when we can’t be with our mothers on their special day because of distance or other reasons, thoughts of our mothers tug at our heartstrings.  Don’t worry, we tell her, we’ll be there soon.

For those of us whose mothers have gone to heaven, the day may be bittersweet.  We are left only with precious memories that remind us of the place she still holds, gone but never forgotten.

Sometimes when we look in the mirror, we catch a glimpse of her face or one of her frequent expressions in our own image.  Sometimes, when we speak, we can hear her voice in our own.  We find ourselves saying things she used to say, giving advice she used to give.  Someone else wears her favorite perfume.  We think of Mom.  We listen to music or a song she loved.  We think of Mom.  Someone wears the kind of clothes she liked to wear.  We think of Mom.  Perhaps it’s the house where she lived, the places she went, the hobbies she had or things she liked to do.  We think of Mom.  She’s still with us, just in a different way.

And if we are among those unfortunate people who never knew their Moms or whose experience was not all that happy, we should still feel some gratitude for her bringing us into this world.

My Mom is still with us, although Alzheimer’s Disease has robbed her (and us) of most of her memory.  It saddens us to see her this way.  She looks at the window with a blank stare or spends her days sleeping. What are you thinking, Mom, as you stare? What are you dreaming about, Mom, as you sleep?  It doesn’t seem like you recognize me anymore, but you do, deep down, don’t you Mom?  It’s me … and you’re still you.  And you’re still here.

It makes a point, the hard way.  Every moment, every day that we have people in our lives whom we love, who are important to us, who truly helped make us who and what we are, we should celebrate and treasure and be thankful.  Forget the difficult times.  Think, rather, of the smiles, the laughter, the tears, the kisses and hugs, the encouragement and support, the giving without counting the cost. Those are the important things, the only things, really, to remember or think about because life is too short and passes too quickly.  Thanks Mom.  Thank you, God.

I try to visit my Mom several times a week.  I’m lucky she’s nearby in a wonderful nursing home, Morris Hall in Lawrenceville.  She receives the best care.  Most days, she’s not alert and repeats the phrase “ok” all the time.  Recently, as I sat bedside, I thought to myself that this beautiful woman might just be trying to comfort me — again — by saying she’s “ok,” not to worry.  It makes my visits happier, for sure.  Last week, as I left her room, not feeling like she was too aware of her surroundings, I kissed her wrinkled cheeks and waved.  Just then, she looked up at me, and said “I love you, I love you.”

Every day should be Mother’s Day for us,  I love you, too, Mom, and always will.  Happy Mother’s Day.