By 6 Months Before Wedding
- Attend the required Marriage Preparation workshop
- Set up additional formational sessions with pastoral minister if needed
- Attend an Information Evening on Fertility Planning (offered in selected parishes)
- Begin a class series on Natural Family Planning (NFP), or register for an online NFP course, www.nwfs.org .
Stage III- Pastoral Sessions, Wedding Liturgy & Beyond
By 3 Months Before Wedding
- Meet again with priest or deacon to discuss marriage preparation workshop and final details of marriage preparation process
- Begin planning for wedding liturgy
- Receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation (if Catholic)
Post-Wedding
- Become an active member of your local parish and share in many marriage enrichment opportunities.
Church Documents Needed
You should be prepared to present the following documents to your parish priest or deacon during your sessions:
- Certificate of Baptism: A recently issued copy dated
no earlier than 6 months prior to the wedding date
with a raised seal (available from the parish of Baptism).
- Certificate of First Communion.
- Certificate of Confirmation.
- A letter of testimony, indicating one’s freedom to marry, may be requested by the priest/deacon or pastoral minister.
- A Pre-Cana, Engaged Encounter Certificate or valid completion of a marriage formation program.
- If a person has been previously married, even if not celebrated before a Catholic priest or deacon, he or she must present an annulment decree or the death certificate of the former spouse, before the priest or deacon can set a wedding date.
Civil Documents Needed - Marriage License
A couple intending to marry in the State of New Jersey must obtain a license from the Registrar of Vital Statistics in the municipality in which the woman resides. If she is a non-resident of New Jersey and the man is a resident of New Jersey, the license must be obtained from the municipality in which he resides. (For marriage license purposes, members of the military are considered residents of the posts at which they are stationed.) A license issued under either of the preceding circumstances is good for use anywhere in New Jersey. If both the bride and groom are non-residents of New Jersey, the license must be obtained from the Registrar of the municipality where the marriage is to be performed and is valid only for use in that municipality. A local registrar will not issue a marriage license sooner than 72 hours after the application for a marriage license has been made, unless ordered to do so via an appropriate court order.
If the marriage is scheduled for a Saturday, the application should be made no later than the preceding Tuesday. Please note that civilly married couples seeking a convalidation (marriage in the Catholic Church) must apply for a remarriage license through the same process.
F.O.C.C.U.S.
Facilitating Open Couple Communication, Understanding and Study
…is a self-diagnostic tool designed to help couples learn more about themselves and their unique relationship. The pre-marital inventory provides each couple and a facilitator with a personalized profile of areas or issues that may need to be addressed. Content covers the range of elements necessary for a successful marriage and opens up a process in which clergy or trained pastoral ministers facilitate discussion between the couple and integration of the new knowledge gained through this experience.
Couples are encouraged to complete FOCCUS with their pastoral minister before attending the marriage preparation workshop of their choice. With new insight, these couples report having stronger motivation to relate topics under discussion to their relationships.
If you are interested in taking the FOCCUS pre-marital inventory but it is not offered in your parish, please contact the Office of Family Life at 609-406-7400, ext. 5592 to make arrangements.
Marriage Formation Programs
Pre-Cana Conferences
Pre-Cana conferences provide an experience of listening, as well as group discussions, through which a couple communicates and expresses their own feelings about marriage. Through the guidance of married couples and a priest or deacon, the couple internalizes certain basic concepts of Christian marriage. The cost for parish Pre-Cana conferences is $115 per couple; $150 per couple for diocesan conferences.
Please be aware that, while some Pre-Cana programs are completed in one day, others are scheduled in segments over a two or three day period. Couples are required to attend all segments and are expected to participate in the program in its entirety. Click here for a list of events.
Important: Couples for whom either party has a prior marriage must attend the TO TRUST AGAIN remarriage workshop in lieu of Pre-Cana
Refund/Transfer policy: 24 hours minimum notice is required for cancellations; two weeks minimum notice is required for program transfers. A $25 processing fee will be charged for cancellations and program transfers.
Pre-Cana in Spanish
"La Boda es un día, El Matrimonio es para toda la vida"
This Pre-Cana program, presented entirely in the Spanish language, is for those of Hispanic descent and includes a whole support system for the Hispanic community. The registration fee is $115. Saturdays, 9 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. To register for a Pre-Cana in Spanish conference, please contact the Hispanic Apostolate Office at (609) 406-7400, ext. 5653.
El programa de Pre-Cana es un instrumento muy útil que ayuda a las parejas en su preparación al matrimonio ofreciéndoles la oportunidad de reflexionar juntos en las diferentes áreas de su vida y en la profundidad del sacramento del matrimonio. Para registrarse por favor llame a la Oficina del Apostolado Hispano al (609) 406-7400, ext. 5653, www.ahtrenton.com. La registracion es de $115 por pareja.
Family Life Programs/HispanicFamily Life Ministries
Programas de Apoyo Para la Familia/Patoral de Vida Familiar Hispana
Other marriage and family programs offered by the Office of Hispanic Apostolate include marriage preparation for couples seeking convalidation, marriage preparation and family enrichment retreats, and PREP (Prevention and Relationship Enhancement Program).
For details, call the Hispanic Apostolate Office (609) 406-7400 ext. 5653 or visit the Hispanic Apostolate website at www.ahtrenton.com. Rev. René Pulgarin, Coordinator of Hispanic Family Life Ministries, can be reached at (609) 924-1743, ext. 110.
Para mayor información, Pastoral De Vida Familiar Hispana, Diócesis de Trenton; puede llamar a la Oficina Apostolado Hispano - (609) 406-7400 ext. 5653; o www.ahtrenton.com. Coordinador: P. René Pulgarín, (609) 924-1743 ext. 110 Iglesia San Pablo, Princeton.
Engaged Encounter
2010 Weekend Dates:
January 8-10, February 19-21, April 9-11, June 4-6, October 29-31
Cost: $395 per couple
Overwhelmed by work and wedding planning? Feel like there’s no time alone for the two of you to ponder the profound adventure you are setting out on?
Come away beloved…
Catholic Engaged Encounter is a unique marriage preparation retreat designed to set aside a quiet place and a solid block of time for busy couples to put away distractions and communicate honestly and intensively with each other about the important things in life …about knowing and loving ourselves and our fiancés, about God, about ambitions and goals and attitudes toward things like money, sexual intimacy, children and family.
The weekend is guided by married couples who share their own life experiences. Engaged couples are given ample opportunities to think about and discuss their own unique backgrounds, experiences, hopes and fears in a gently structured program based on reflection, writing and private dialogue between fiancés. All couples gather together for meals and the celebration of Sunday Mass.
Engaged Encounter weekends are held at Stella Maris Retreat House located on the Atlantic coast in Elberon, New Jersey, which provides a beautiful, prayerful setting to draw close to each other and to God. The Encounter weekend begins on Friday evening at 7:30 p.m. and concludes approximately 4 p.m. on Sunday. The cost is $395 per couple, which includes meals and lodging. Reservations are limited. To register online, click here.
Refund/Transfer policy: 24 hours minimum notice is required for cancellations; two weeks minimum notice is required for program transfers. A $25 processing fee will be charged for cancellations and program transfers.
God's Plan for a Joy-filled Marriage
(Marriage Preparation Workshop for Engaged Couples)
Cost: $150 per couple
2010 Dates and Locations: TBA
God's Plan for a Joy-Filled Marriage is a marriage formation workshop for engaged couples which fulfills the marriage preparation requirement. It offers a more complete understanding of God's glorious plan for marriage and human sexuality than perhaps any program available in the Church today. Based on Pope John Paul II's Theology of the Body, this program is intended to enhance a key component of marriage preparation: catechesis in the theology of marriage and the gift of human sexuality.
This state of the art approach to marriage preparation is also designed to facilitate the couple’s insight and self-awareness, and help develop important relational skills.
For more information, contact Donna Goodwin at 609-406-7400, ext. 5592. The fee for the program is $150 per couple. Refund/Transfer policy: 24 hours minimum notice is required for cancellations; two weeks minimum notice is required for program transfers. A $25 processing fee will be charged for cancellations and program transfers.
Refund/Transfer policy: 24 hours minimum notice is required for cancellations; two weeks minimum notice is required for program transfers. A $25 non-refundable processing fee will be charged when transferring to a different program or cancelling.
To Trust Again
(Preparation for Remarriage in the Church)
2010 Dates: April 17 and October 23
Saturdays, 9 a.m. to 3:30 p.m.
Location: Our Lady of Sorrows-St. Anthony Parish
Cost: $150 per couple
This marriage preparation program is designed to meet the pastoral needs of couples in which one or both persons are marrying after the loss of a spouse through death or divorce. The program addresses specific issues these individuals face as they enter into the new relationship. Couples are invited to explore issues between themselves and within small group settings. The registration fee is $150 per couple. To learn more about the program, contact the Office of Family Life/Respect Life, at (609) 406-7400, ext. 5592.
To register online, click here.
Refund/Transfer policy: 24 hours minimum notice is required for cancellations; two weeks minimum notice is required for program transfers. A $25 processing fee will be charged for cancellations and program transfers.
Going Green with Natural Family Planning
(For engaged and married couples)
Recent trends in the medical community indicate that more and more couples are seeking hormone-free, non-steroidal methods of family planning. NFP describes the host of eco-friendly scientific methods of family planning which rely on the natural and observable signs and symptoms of a woman’s cycle to determine phases of fertility. NFP is 100% natural and very reliable if the couple uses it unfailingly. In addition to being morally acceptable as a means of spacing children, numerous studies have shown that couples who use NFP have stronger marriages and more satisfying sexual relationships than other married couples. NFP can also be instrumental in assisting infertile couples to achieve a pregnancy.
Since decisions concerning the family involve both husband and wife, we invite couples to take joint responsibility in child planning. Successful use of the method contributes to growth in communication, understanding, and respect in the marriage relationship. Couples learn the method by attending classes, through home study, or by taking an online course (www.nwfs.org). To learn more about the various methods of natural family planning or to register for classes, contact the Office of Family Life/Respect Life, (609) 406-7400, ext. 5556; e-mail phensl@dioceseoftrenton.org, or visit www.njnfp.org.
Couple to Couple League/Sympto-Thermal Method
The Sympto-Thermal method of natural family planning (NFP) is an educational program based on scientific knowledge on how to plan or postpone a pregnancy. Couples participate in four classes. Each class is spaced five weeks apart to allow the couple to go through several of the woman's menstrual cycles while learning the method. Classes are taught by married couples who are trained and certified by the Couple to Couple League (CCL). To learn more about the Couple to Couple League's approach to NFP, visit their website at www.ccli.org. To register for Couple to Couple League classes for the Sympto-Thermal Method of NFP, please contact the Office of Family Life/Respect Life at 609.406.7400, ext. 5592.
Creighton Model Method
Creighton model is highly effective in both its method and use as a way to achieve or postpone pregnancy. This method of natural family planning is recognized by the Pope Paul VI Institute for the Study of Human Reproduction. It is a system which enables husbands and wives to be active participants in the monitoring and maintaining of their own procreative health and fertility planning.
Classes in the Creighton model of NFP are offered on a regular basis in the Trenton Diocese by certified Fertility Care System practitioners. These practitioners are also versed in NaproTechnology (Natural Procreative Technology) to provide married couples with Church approved alternatives for common fertility problems. To learn more about the Creighton method and Napro Technology, go to www.creightonmodel.com, or to register for NFP classes, contact Mary McMenaman at 732.449.9177, or Josi Shimkus at 732-361-7345.
Enrichment for Married Couples
Marriage Encounter
2010 Dates: February 5-7; April 30-May 2; June 23-25; October 22-24
Marriage Encounter is a weekend enrichment program designed to help build communication skills between husband and wife. A series of presentations given by married couples and a priest provides meaningful reflection for couples to refocus on their relationship, with private time for discussion away from the distractions of every day life.
For dates, locations and reservations for Marriage Encounter weekends in Central New Jersey, please contact Jack and Annarose Parra at 1-888-827-NJME or visit our website at www.dioceseoftrenton.org.
For Marriage Encounter weekends in southern New Jersey, contact Bob and Michelle Dooley at 1-800-688-9963.
For Hispanic Marriage Encounter Weekends please contact Raul and Rudy Avila at (609) 448-0098.
Retrouvaille
Retrouvaille, or “rediscovery,” is an intensive weekend and post weekend program originating from the Marriage Encounter movement to help couples in troubled marriages. To learn more about Retrouvaille, see page x of this booklet or go to www.retrouvaille.org.
Bishop's Anniversary Blessing
2010 Dates:
Ocean and Burlington Counties
Sunday, April 11, 3 p.m.
Mercer and Monmouth Counties
Sunday, April 18, 3 p.m.
Held in the Cathedral of St. Mary of the Assumption, Trenton, the Bishop’s Anniversary Blessing is an annual celebration to honor married couples in the diocese celebrating their 25th, 50th or over wedding anniversaries during the 2010 calendar year. Bishop Smith confers his Episcopal Blessing upon each couple and presents them with a personalized certificate to commemorate this very special occasion. Registration through your parish is required.
World Marriage Day Luncheon
Sunday, February 14, 2010, 12 to 3 p.m.
The Breakers Hotel, Spring Lake
Our diocesan World Marriage Day luncheon is held at the Breakers Hotel on the ocean in picturesque Spring Lake, and is open to all married couples in the Diocese of Trenton. Since 1982, the Worldwide Marriage Encounter organization has set aside a Sunday each February as a special day to honor husbands and wives as the head of the family, the basic unit of society. World Marriage Day salutes the beauty of their faithfulness, sacrifice and joy in daily married life.
The World Marriage Day luncheon is a gathering of couples from throughout the diocese, to share stories and enjoy presentations about marriage, in an elegant and romantic setting. The cost of the luncheon is $70 per couple.For more information, contact Donna Goodwin at (609) 406-7400, ext. 5592. Reservations are limited and must be made in advance.
Marriage Resources for Parishes
“The Christian family and the whole of the ecclesial community should feel involved in the different phases of the preparation for marriage…a journey of faith which is similar to the catechumenate…” (Familiaris Consortio)
To assist parishes in their marriage ministry efforts, the Office of Family Ministries is offering a variety of workshops and programs which can be adapted and presented in local parish settings.
For Parishioners:
- Introduction to Theology of the Body – a presentation and discussion of key concepts of Pope John Paul II’s work on Christian married love and sacramental sexuality. May be presented in a one or two hour workshop or evening of enrichment.
- Fertility Planning Information Evening – a two hour workshop which presents Church teaching on marital love and responsible parenthood and an introductory session for one of several scientific methods of Natural Family Planning.
- Happy Together – a short retreat for busy married couples (www.happy-together.net)
- Created to Know, Called to Prayer – a special 10 session couple’s prayer workshop from Familia (www.familiausa.net)
Into the Heart – a 16-part, 8 hour in-depth study of Theology of the Body (www.ascensionpress.com, click on Theology of the Body)
For Parish Ministers:
- FOCCUS Interactive Training to learn new FOCCUS scoring options – a 90 minute interactive demonstration of how to administer and score the FOCCUS pre-marital inventory online.
- FOCCUS Facilitator Training – a four hour training workshop conducted by a certified FOCCUS Trainer to teach the latest techniques in facilitating couple sessions (also offered as a diocesan-wide program; need a minimum of 10 participants to hold an individual parish FOCCUS training)
- Strategies for Using the Catechumenal Model in Marriage Preparation – a practical discussion with recommendations for adapting and implementing the Unitas RCIA-based model of marriage preparation in the parish community. The workshop will also provide guidelines on how to develop a parish marriage ministry team.
- Pre-Cana Ministry Team Training – a full day workshop for lay or parish ministry teams to start up a new parish Pre-Cana ministry.
If you are interested in learning more about these programs or offering one or more in your parish, please contact the Peg Hensler at the Office of Family Ministries, 609-406-7400, ext. 5556 or phensl@dioceseoftrenton.org.
FOCCUS TRAINING FOR PASTORAL MINISTERS
(Priests, Deacons, Lay Ministers)
Saturday, March 6, 2010, St. Dominic Parish, Brick
9 a.m. to 3p.m., $70 per person
All priests, deacons and lay ministers who prepare engaged couples for Catholic marriage are encouraged to become qualified FOCCUS Facilitators so they may use the FOCCUS pre-marital inventory as a tool for catechesis and discussion. Attendance at a formal diocesan FOCCUS training is required to become a FOCCUS Facilitator; the cost is $70 per participant, including materials. To register online, click here or contact Donna Goodwin at 609-406-7400, ext. 5592 or dgoodw@dioceseoftrenton.org.
DIOCESAN TRAINING FOR MARRIED PRE-CANA TEAM COUPLES
Saturdays, 9 a.m. to 4 p.m.
March 13, 2010, Diocesan Pastoral Center, Lawrenceville
September 25, 2010 St. Anselm Parish, Wayside
Diocesan Pre-Cana trainings are one-day workshops designed for new Pre-Cana team couples or for newly formed parish Pre-Cana teams. They include formation in Church teaching on the Sacrament of Marriage and practical recommendations for using the diocesan-approved Before “I Do” Pre-Cana model. There is no fee to attend but advance registration is required. Breakfast, lunch and all materials are included. Note: Pre-Cana team couples who have not attended a diocesan Pre-Cana team training are required to attend one of these sessions. To learn more about this training, download an informational flyer here, call Donna Goodwin at (609) 406-7400, ext. 5592. To register online click here or download a registration form here (23k, .pdf).
Contact Us:
Peg Hensler
Coordinator: Marriage and Family Ministries
Phone: 609-406-7400 ext. 5556
E-mail: phensl@dioceseoftrenton.org
Office of Family Life/Respect Life
Diocesan Pastoral Center
PO Box 5147
701 Lawrenceville Road
Trenton, NJ 08638-0147
Phone: 609-406-7400
Fax: 609-406-7403
E-mail: family@dioceseoftrenton.org
Director: Linda Richardson
Congratulations on your engagement! We are so pleased you have decided to marry in the Catholic Church. The following timeline is provided to help you navigate the year-long marriage preparation process. To ensure that each couple married in the Catholic Church receives proper preparation for their future life together, all parishes in the State of New Jersey follow the Pastoral Policies and Guidelines for Marriage Preparation for the Catholic Church in New Jersey.
